Sunday, July 5

World Dominance - The 15 Step Plan

Vissel Kobe can be the greatest team in the world... if Adachi is fired and I am made general manager.

Here are 15 things I would do in my first year in charge.

Most successful managers are knowledgeable about technical and strategic aspects of the game, are passionate, garner the respect of players for what they themselves have achieved on and/or off the field, and have personality. However, managers who possess all of these are in high demand and, in most cases, would only consider going to a club that is already fairly successful and willing to pay the big bucks. Obviously, Vissel Kobe are not going to attract that kind of person. This means we need more than one person.

Step 1: Recruit Miura Kazu as manager. The most respected J.League player ever. Passionate and charismatic. He loves Kobe - and Kobe loves him. He WILL be an awesome manager someday. Get him now and...

STEP 2: Hire a technical director to handle strategic aspects (for the first couple of years). There are plenty out there.

Step 3: Get rid of Marcel at the end of the season. Need I explain?

Step 4: Make the entire squad shave their heads. A statement of focus and dedication a la high school baseball players. This rule can be abandoned when we have a trophy.

Step 5: Reduce entire wage bill by 30% - in line with other mediocre J.League teams.

Step 6: Make a portion of player salaries performance based, determined through post-match voting by coaching staff, journalists and fans. They would still be on good money - just with an added incentive. If I sucked at my job, I would not expect a bonus.

Step 7: Stop the signing of foreign loan players. I really don't see the point of this in Japan.

Step 8: Provide FREE away bus tours for all season ticket holders. We have one of the worst away followings in the league. The cost of putting on a few buses with drivers would be minimal and funded by steps 3 & 5.

Step 9: Free admission to home games for all elementary and JHS students in Hyogo - until the average attendance reaches 90% capacity. What is the point of playing at home to an almost empty stadium? Big home crowds are cool and many of these kids will become paying fans in 10 years.

Step 10: Serve Sapporo in clear cups at the stadium for 300 yen. Why wouldn't you serve the best beer?! Clear cups would reduce the risk of too much foam and I think 300 yen is fair for a beer that is not in a glass.

Step 11: Make a supporters band - like the S-pulse drumming crew, only better, with dancing Vissel girls in bikinis.

Step 12: Sing original songs. Or at least different songs to the opposing fans. Something I just can't get used to. Sorry.

Step 13: Ban all KitKat flags. Some of our supporters seem to have forgotten that the name of our team is Vissel kobe, not KitKat.

Step 14: Never close the roof, unless it is actually raining.

Step 15: Make a REAL beer garden outside the ground (that stays open longer than an hour) with tables and chairs, food, Sapporo and those cheer girls.

There you have it Mr. Mikitani. I'm available from next month.


dokool said...

What is the deal with those KitKat flags? I saw them on TV the other night and I thought "what the hell...?"

I wish Tokyo would do the bus thing. I have yet to go to an away game outside of the Kanto region but I'd love to go up to Niigata or out to Kyoto for a match.

I kinda agree with Steps 11 and 12... FC Tokyo's main supporter band has good days and bad days, and a lot of that has to do with the prevailing mood. I do wish we were a bit more hardcore about it... but you take what you can get.

Jay said...

The flags have a small Vissel logo in the corner which I don't think is visible on TV, but basically they are KitKat flags. Someone is giving FREE advertising to the largest food & beverage company in the world because they are the right colors. Stupid.

As for the singing, we are often drowned out by the opposing fans at the other end - at home!! We need more drums.

dokool said...


I'm sure there's more to it than that. You should ask around, I bet sooner or later you find someone who knows one of those particular flag-wavers.

Jay said...

I know the group and it's true. They're just happy to fly a big flag in Vissel colors...

dokool said...



Japanese supporters are great but sometimes you just wonder.

...then again given the uber-geeky gateflags I've got planned for the rest of the season, I have no room to judge.

Barry said...

You got my vote,where do i sign?